Hey Dawg! Glad to hear you had a nice time with some old friends! I wonder the same thing so much! When Hubby and I were in, we were the example couple for the younger set. We keep in touch with a few on Myspace, and I am sure they've heard of our leaving by now. I can't imagine that they really believe it all. It just keeps peace in their families.
kitten whiskers
JoinedPosts by kitten whiskers
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35
JWs come for a visit! I can't believe it.
by dawg ini just wanted to relate that this weekend, a group of jws came by and visited me-they had come to athens to watch the big game that my team didn't show up for.
most of them knew that i had written letters to many family members and friends saying the jws were full of crocodile crap and yet all of them hung out with me.
one was inquisitive in a good way, asking me if i was an 'apostate"... i told him that i was because i've formerly stated that i disagree with the jws about many of their doctrines.
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Mother-in-law said she will not talk to us anymore...... feel the love.
by New light for you inyes, so my children talking to mom i hear "no we dont go to meetings anymore" and i'm thinking "crap!!".
so then the phone gets passed to me.. and my husband is of course out of town for this.
i get asked point blank if we're witnesses anymore.. and i said "no we're not".
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kitten whiskers
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you have to experience this. It is the worst that they can throw at you. Just remember you aren't alone, and this is a great place to go to realize it. My mom did the same. It stabs your heart, which is exactly what the controlling jerks at Bethel want to do to you. They use family and fear to maintain control of people. But you are stronger than their tactics. I totally agree that you need to emphasize that it is her decision. I told my mom just because I don't believe what they say doesn't mean I don't love God, or that I've left him. That's a lie when they use such a blanket statement. God knows my heart. Stand your ground. Don't be afraid. After 4 months, we had to visit for father-in-law's heart surgery. We stayed with my grandma (my father and both my grandma's are the only ones in our immediate families not jws). Grandma invited my parents for dinner and lo and behold all of a sudden my mother tells me she has decided she can talk to me now. ???????????????what??????????? I just accepted it and didn't push. Not quite 8 months later she tries to tell me again that she can't talk to us. So I laid it on the line. If I'm not good enough to talk to during the good times, why is it okay to call and ask for help during the bad? The Society won't take care of you when you are old. The congregation will say to have your children care for you. At that time it will be okay for you to talk to me. I don't think so. I'm not going to live like that. Your grandchildren are growing up fast. Do you want to miss all the joy of their lives? I won't put up with your phone conversations like last time. When I would call dad and the kids would talk to him, you would grab the phone to talk to them without talking to me. If you think God's going to kill me, then you know he's killing the kids too because they fall under our judgment. I don't believe that. My children love God dearly. And on and on. I stood my ground and didn't let respect for my mother make me silent on the injustice or wrongfulness of the Society and their views. Combat their convictions with your own. I think my mother was surprised. It's kind of like when you were out in service and met a true Southern Baptist at the door. They could go toe to toe with you for 45 minutes or more and you came away frustrated that anyone else could have convictions as strong as yours. Made you think a little. That is what I try to impart. I don't doubt my decision. I don't let you tell me if I am good enough. It hurts and I cried and cried and got depressed and upset. We aren't made of steel. But you can do it. You have to clear the way for you and the children. She made her choices and did what she thought best. Now it's your turn. You have the right to feel like the adult you are and make your own decisions. It was such a freeing feeling when I made my own decisions on what I believe and feel about things. Enough babble from me. I wish you the best and a happy heart. I hope she realizes what an idiotic pawn she is being in the Watchtower's game of loyalty. It isn't what Jesus would want her do. It isn't Christian at all.
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What is the one thing you will never give up no matter how hard times get?
by snarf inwith the talk of everyone trying to cut back and reevaluate their necessities due to the rising cost of products from gas to food, what is the one thing that will never go in your life...a "luxury"item that has wound itself so deeply in your soul you would be incomplete without it?.
my item is a daily frapuccino, those little devils are so delish that i can't even think of going a day without.
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kitten whiskers
Nestle French Vanilla coffee creamer and Coca-Cola
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I have an indoor swimming pool . . .
by JK666 inunfortunately it is my basement!
i am in the process of sucking out the water right now, after a night of hellacious storms here in indiana.
well, it could be worse, it could still be raining.
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kitten whiskers
Ugh! Been there. Done that. Hated that ride!
Ours happened on our honeymoon! I immediately knew that my husband could work under pressure without yelling at me or cussing things out! I had been used to my dad's way of doing things! This was, as crazy as it sounds, a bright spot and tell tale sign of how things would go...and get handled! It caused us to cancel our trip to Disney world. Bummer. We were young (21 and 23), had free tickets to the park, just needed money to drive and stay. We decided to head north for the weekend to Mackinaw Island in Michigan. And wouldn't you know it...our car broke down 15 miles from home. We waited all day for it to get fixed and then got the H.E.double hockey sticks out of there before something else went wrong!!! LOL!
I hope it all dries up for you pretty fast! What a pain! I hope it didn't ruin your furnace or anything! Hopefully insurance will cover anything that got ruined!
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Ment to post this in friends........
by Ex-smoker inso anyways it was meeting night to night and like always i had to go i showed up late of course so i can miss the first song.
i wasn't wearing a jacket of course so i stood out like a sore thumb.
during the bible highlights i wanted to bring out john chap 14:6jesus answered, "i am the way and the truth and the life.
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kitten whiskers
What a way to tie a scripture and song together! I'll always think of "lean on me" differently now! I love it! You have a delightful way of looking at things and may have just helped someone by giving them hope God is truly there to lean on. No need for the Watchtower! Kudos to you!
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JW wife says she loves me more often NOW???? Should I test that?
by oompa ini was pm with a@g and have with others here in the one-in-one-out marriage situation, and have a question.
time flies.....i have been considered apostate for at least two years now, and it seems my wife says she loves me all the time....almost makes me uncomfortable.
i have changed, not her, and i realize that.
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kitten whiskers
Sorry about the lack of paragraphs. They were there!
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81
JW wife says she loves me more often NOW???? Should I test that?
by oompa ini was pm with a@g and have with others here in the one-in-one-out marriage situation, and have a question.
time flies.....i have been considered apostate for at least two years now, and it seems my wife says she loves me all the time....almost makes me uncomfortable.
i have changed, not her, and i realize that.
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kitten whiskers
I feel for you Oompa! I hope she is saying she loves you, just because she does. She is probably scared that your differences may push you away from each other. Does your love for her hinge only on the fact that she was a jw and therefore eligible to be your marriage partner back when you believed? I am sure it doesn't. I am not familiar with your entire situation, but to answer your question...I wouldn't test her love. She deserves the same respect you do.
Does she show you she loves you? If she folds the laundry for instance...she is thinking of you each time she hangs up one of your shirts, irons a pair of pants, matches your socks.These chores are done with love. Does she prepare the meals? Offer to get you something while she is up...ex: a drink, snack as you are watching t.v.? She may say it more because she is scared and wants to be assured of your love for her.
I know my hubby had mentally left the jw's and hardly went to a meeting when he was first fading. I was so scared. It took me a while to see the real "truth", but he didn't push me. He waited for me. Some of the most powerful heartfelt conversations happened when I initiated it. He was reluctant to share, he didn't want me going to the elders. Sadly, before my exit, I did betray his trust and ask for a family shepherding call. I felt like I had to save our family and he was dying spiritually. I was so scared to tell him they were coming over. He met them with me...and their treatment of him and questions of meeting attendance, work, etc... got my blood boiling. He is an awesome husband and provider and does everything he can for his family... and for them to smugly sit there in judgment of him PISSED me off. I sat there defending him and realizing what a mistake I had made and hoping he would forgive me. I was scared I had jeopardized our marriage. But my husband LOVES me. I hope you find in your heart that aside from the problems this religion has caused you and her, that you love her.
My husband let me come to him. He supported me. Never made me feel that I couldn't believe as I pleased. He even went with to me conventions as my faith flip flopped back and forth. His support and lack of pressuring me, helped me see his love and question things for myself. You can't force someone to see something. They have to see it for themselves I think. But when the blinders get holes in them,you start to peek out through them and try to see things clearly. Just love her for her if you can. The best conversations I ever had with my husband about his doubts was when I approached him and asked him to share his feelings...while he was in the shower and I climbed in with him to have the conversation. The intimacy of that situation helped us be kind, open and gentle in our conversation. Is there really any better way to have a soul "baring" conversation? lol
I wish you all the best Oompa! I can only imagine how hard it must be to be the one who has left and to want your mate out so bad you can almost taste it. Maybe you could have a date night where you go out and reconnect each week as a couple. As JW's we would sit holding hands during meeting. That was a connection for us at the time. If you did that at the kingdom hall too, she probably misses that time of quiet closeness. Just my rambling thoughts. Again, all the best to you! Hope my viewpoint helps a little. -
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Did you have the bookstudy at your house?
by karter inwe did for many years it was great becouse we had small children.
however you are expected to have a supper now and then after having food droped then ground into the carpet a few times i called it quites on the suppers although i'd invite some for beers after.
one bookstdy conducter announced there was going to be a supper next bookstudy so i announced no there wasen't he spoke to me after something about unwritten rules i said '' the phraseas call it oral trditions"
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kitten whiskers
We had it our house...as a newly married couple.
We had offered to have it in our home. Hubby grew up with it in his parents house and his grandparents house. He was striving to become a m.s. and I was there for him. Here's the corker. They decided to have it at our house, but failed to tell us!!!!
Here I was a new bride, out shopping, and I get a call from my mother-in-law asking if my hubby's uncle the P.O. had called to tell us. Um.NO!!!! I guess they just took us for granted seeing his dad and all of his uncles made up the majority of the elder body. Well....I had to run home and work my head off to get it "clean enough" in my unrealistic mind.for study. Something I have never understood to this day is how in the world everyone assigned to us got notice to come and yet we had no clue! We totally hated having to be sure the house was ready for service on Saturday morning and couldn't just relax and enjoy those sweet honeymoon Saturdays of newlyweds. That sucked.
We also had a sue happy sister in our group, so I diligently tried to make sure the ice was melted and shoveled, etc. I was sure she would sue us if she slipped. And she would complain about her shoes getting cold from being taken off in the entryway/enclosed porch. It was unheated, but I'll be damned if all that slush and snow is coming in my new house after I busted my butt getting it clean for a bunch of judgemental people who didn't help! If it was that bad, buy a portable electric heater and offer it to the host as a gift. There was so much work involved. And I hated that I always felt like I had to be so selfless, that I hardly got to sit on my own funriture after the grueling cleaning session. I enjoyed it especially on cold winter nights or rainy nights! That was the best. And when my hubby was feeling funny and would raise his hand to comment and just say "Jehovah" like a child to get everyone laughing! That was fun. -
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The vacuum cleaner is going to explode!
by easyreader1970 inthe first actual chore i can actually remember being given was to vacuum the living room.
this task was given to me by my mother.
sometimes while vacuuming i might get distracted or maybe just have to go pee.
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kitten whiskers
Cute story! You told it well and made a good comparison to the fear we were fed by the Society! I'm sorry vacuuming is such a life threatening chore! I feel for you, but can't help but laugh too! Ahhhh...the things we are told as kids and the deep impressions they make in our minds! Your poor mother must have been a nervous wreck if she believed that!
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25 years ago today my wife and I were married in a Kingdom Hall
by Thechickennest intoday is our silver wedding anniversary!
little did we know that twenty five years later we would be out of what we now call a cult!
we were such good, active witnesses......we are happier now as a couple.
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kitten whiskers
Congratulations! We're about half way behind you...just had our 12th this weekend! I never did like the pictures taken inside of the kingdom hall for our wedding. I much prefer the outside ones! Isn't it amazing, that the memories of the love shared between you have nothing to do with where the vows took place! It's really true...life just gets better as the years go by. Look how much better it is today! Go and relive that first dance together! Cheers!